Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
