u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm jealous of your bromance
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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