glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
