carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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