is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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