I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize