At least make sure they are 18
Why
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
