3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ok first of all what the fuck
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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