he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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