the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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