Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We need to get me chipped asap
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
