so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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