You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
