The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
