Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
