i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
