I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
