I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
