So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
