Dude my mom stole all your condoms
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
