Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
