We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize