Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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