I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
is that a dick in a sweater?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
