yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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