you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm gonna have a badass scar
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
