Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
