You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
