So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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