I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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