mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
