Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
