I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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