hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
