Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
