what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
