Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize