All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just gargled with NyQuil
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
