i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
