So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
