Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
