can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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