all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
