Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
