For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
soo... how was my night?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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