Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
