It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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