Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize