Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
