found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
