I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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