Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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