But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Houston, we have a squirter
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
