I puked a lego.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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