It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Everything about him screamed your future.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
