Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I wish you could order shots online.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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