it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
