dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she smelled like a LAN party
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
