sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
