I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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