No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
