He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All I want is dick and wine.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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