I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
