the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
