Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
