Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
