If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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