would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
