Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
