We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
