I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
