just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize